There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
