I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
