pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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