Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
