This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
