all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
