guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
