People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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