Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
