Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
