why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Panties = found
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