Moan for me like Helen Keller
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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