So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
