ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
