Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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