no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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