Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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