When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
