He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
