I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
