I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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