we're blogging at a bar
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
