You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
