She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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