I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He? As in you personified your dick?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
