I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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