I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
