I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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