I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
