It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
