Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?