I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...