Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?