oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?