bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
