He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
