Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
