Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
