What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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