We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
