i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
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