My room smells like vodka and shame
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
