I cockslap morals
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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