Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
