So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
