You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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