Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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