Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
