hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
