new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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