I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
