just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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