her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
