Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
