Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
