I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
