it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
