take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sorry about my life...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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