yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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