I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
