There is no way he is gay with that hair.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
