Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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