when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
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the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
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Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.