I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Alive.
So much puke
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
