She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
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That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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