she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
